Bedouindreamz’s Weblog

Got this email from a source(actually just a friend. But since this is a blog I am trying to be a bit professional) It’s fun. And it’s funny. Check it out……

ECONOMIC MODELS EXPLAINED WITH COWS

SOCIALISM: You have 2 cows, and you give one to your neighbour.

COMMUNISM: You have 2 cows. The State takes both and gives you some milk.

FASCISM: You have 2 cows. The State takes both and sells you some milk.

NAZISM: You have 2 cows. The State takes both and shoots you.

BUREAUCRATISM: You have 2 cows. The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, then throws the milk away.

TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.

SURREALISM: You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow has dropped dead.

A FRENCH CORPORATION: You have two cows. You go on strike, organise a riot, and block the roads, because you want three cows.

A JAPANESE CORPORATION: You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.

A GERMAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows, but you don’t know where they are. You decide to have lunch.

A RUSSIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you have 2 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.

A SWISS CORPORATION: You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you. You charge the owners for storing them.

A CHINESE CORPORATION: You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.

AN INDIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You worship them.

A BRITISH CORPORATION: You have two cows. Both are mad.

AN IRAQI CORPORATION: Everyone thinks you have lots of cows. You tell them that you have none. No-one believes you, so they bomb the sh*t out of you and invade your country. You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of a Democracy.

A WELSH CORPORATION: You have two cows. The one on the left looks very attractive.

A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION: You have two cows. Business seems pretty good. You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate. When you come back you find a bill for the damage the cows have done to the environment. One cow technically belongs to the government now, and has reallocated ownership to a refugee family. You still have to milk the cow but the proceeds will go into funding social engineering and a diversity scheme established to redress the social imbalance of heterosexual farmers. The land the cows are grazing on has been claimed by a Maori tribe and they want rent back dated to 1840, which the government has passed a law saying you have to pay. The second cow is eventually exported to a top Japanese restaurant as fillet steaks. The proceeds are impounded by the government to fund a feminist counselling service. The male heterosexual farmer is then told he is surplus to requirement in the newly engineered sickly white-liberal-feminist-man hating-socialist-utopia. There is nobody left to produce anything, but the UN love the country’s humanitarian credentials and seek to export this model to the rest of the OECD.